thinking on my way home!

i was coming home from green river cuz thats where i went this weekend and we left green river about 4 and we where heading down the high way and i had my mp3 player out and i was listing to it and i was listing to right now witch is my best friends favorite song calvin i got him into that song lol its a long story how i got him into liking that song alot lol but he liked it cuz of his girlfreind but any ways i kept listing to that song over and over cuz i really like that song to and i kept looking in the skys hoping i could maby see my best friend who past away not to long ago and i just kept looking up there hoping maby i would get a sign or something so that i knew he was watching me!! i was so sad in the car becasue i remember i would be texting him in the car and he would keep texting me saying hey are u home yet? like he kept worrying about me! witched i loved it. lol but he would always say that to me then when i didnt have service i couldnt text him any more then like when i would get service i would have like 5 text messages from him saying hey amber!! r u ok? hello? or are u home yet? or like things like that and i was like calvin its ok. im almost home or im not home yet or ya know things like that and he was like ok im just checking ha ha and so ya i just kept getting more sad becasuse i really miss him alot and i just wish like one day i would get a text from him saying its ok and stuff but that will never happin but no one was texting me when i was on my way home and i just knew if he was still alive he would be texting me right there asking me if i made it home yet or not? he is such a sweet boy!! i love him to death!! but i just kept looking in the sky and as it got darker i started to freak out becasue the flash backs came back to where he left at night and got killed and so i was getting scared!! but i still kept thinking like o i waunder if he can see me and he is trying to talk to me saying im going to make it home alright and stuff!!! but i just miss texting him i mean on every trip i went on calvin was there right there texting me saying r u having fun? or did you make it home ok? or i hope you dont get into a car crash and get killed? or you know things like that or he would be telling me his problems ya know. he was just so caring for me!! and now this trip was alot diffrent cuz he wasnt texting me and it just pretty much sad the whole trip i even cried on my way back home!! becasue i miss texting him!!! i mean he was always worrying about me like every time i went on a trip!! and now im sure he still is but i just wont know it!!! but i just kept thinking like can he see me? or what happins if i get in a car crash and i die? or will it ever be the same up there as it was down here? or ya know ya!! i just miss him way to much!!!! and i will probably be sad on all my trips cuz he isnt there texting me like the old times!! im really going to miss that the most!!!!! but ya that was my thinking on my way home today!!!!