life!

well... you know how life is always so crazy well i found that out like in 6th grade... and i hate it.... so much has happined to me this year i dont even like this year one bit... but you know nothing will ever be the same... never will... you cant do nothing about it... like i tell my friends the same thing over and over... and i just keep saying it over and over and over.... and they dont know what to say to me any more.. cuz its the same thing over and over... and they dont know how to help me. like they tell me stuff and i try to put there words into my life so it will help me but i just cant do it... it never works cuz i go right back up to being sad or something else bad happins... its so hard.... but there is nothing you can do about it.. my family trys to help me.. my friends... i mean every one.. but nothing works any more... i wish this could just get all better by now.. im so sick of feelin all this pain.. im sick of bein sad.. i know i can change it.. and i have alot of times. just like my great grandma told me... like at the christmas party right before she died.. she said amber... dont let any one bring you down.. your as pretty as the rest of the people... amber i love you... if someone is bringing you down ignore.. it walk away.. dont let them bring you down like that. your my great grandaughter... you have alot of talents your just as good as the rest of the world. i love seeing you dance. your so good at it. but just remember amber im always here for you. and always have that beatuiful smile on your face. always dont let no stupied people bring you down. your smarter then them.. if your feelin sad always remember this that i love you so much and your my sweetheart grandaughter who i can count on. your always there for me amber your always helpin me out with the little kids your just so great to me!!! i love you so much!! i love your smile and your happieness!! every time i see you or you walk through my house you always have the cutest smile on your face and that just makes me happy right away. amber you always make me way happy every time i see you!! and i love that about you. you are very speacial to me!! you never forget that. ever! just always smile even if it hurts. you can always cry but just remember always put that cute cute smile on. it will make me so happy!! i love you very much.. just like your great grandpa did... well always have the best memories forever and ever!! ill never forget my grandpa or my grandma never forget what my grandma told me... i try to be as happy as can be... i really do but sometimes i just have to break down and cry. cry cry... cuz it always helps me well at least sometimes it does... but you know life is crazy any more and i just about had it with my life.... it pretty much sucks... but im getting used to all this bad stuff happining in my life... well sorry i just had to get this out.. but i miss you grandma and grandpa!! and calvin!!!!!!