sick for two weeks!!

well this all started on thanksgiving break. on the weekend of thanksgiving break i went up to colorado to see my great grandparents. when we got there we were sitting on my grandmas table and my whole family has been sick like my dad had walking pneimonia and my mom had sinece infections.. and stuff and my grandma looked at me and she said, "amber im suprised you havent gotten this stuff and havent been sick.." and i was like i know its crazy.. cuz im usally the one getten sick the most. then that night when i was sittin at her house i wasnt feelin to good.. and i was like great im probably gettin sick. then we went back to the hotel room and i just felt like i was going to throw up and i was so cold and i felt like i had a fever. then the next morining i woke up with like a croopy caugh and a sore throat. and so i couldnt give my grandparaents hug goodbye cuz i was sick and i didnt want to give them anything. so we got home and i still felt really sick.. but the next morning i woke up and i still felt sick but i knew i had to go to school cuz i didnt want to miss anything. so i went and about 3rd period i felt really sick and had a fever and i told my freind kadee i said im sick.. and i asked her to feel my head to see if i had a fever and she felt it and she was like amber your really hot you need to go call home! you have a fever! and i was like no i cant i have to stay and get my work done.. i cant go home! and she was like you need to you have like a high fever.. and i was just like great! so after 3rd period i went to the office and called my mom and i went home. she called the doctors and i so i went to the doctors and all he told me was i have a vuris.. if im not better by thursday i need to go back in!! so that whole week i was dieing of fevers and head aches and body aches.. and chills and everything.. my fevers wouldnt break nothing would. so it was thursday still had fevers and everything.. my mom was like should i call the doctors or maybe just wait one more day.. and i was like i dont care. so we ended up waiting another day and my chest was hurting really bad and still had a terrilbe caugh and my mom was like k your not gettin better and it was friday so my mom called the doctors and we got an appointment at 6 so we went in and i saw a diffrent doctor and he was like oh your lungs dont sound great at all and i couldnt even breath in and out with out caughing and it hurt so bad. so he made me go down and get a chest x-ray cuz my mom told my doctor that my dad had walking pnemonia so i went down there and got an x-ray and brought it back up to the doctor and he took it and looked at it and he goes.. Oh NO! this isnt walking pnemonia this is actaul pnemonia.. and i was like what????? and i was like freaking out! and the doctor showed my mom and told her i have fluied in my lungs and stuff but he said the only reason he isnt going to put me in the hospital is cuz i dont have fluied in like the bottom and thats what is mostly high risk.. so they just gave me antiboicts and stuff and he said if she isnt better by monday and you think she is gettin worse you need to take her to the hosptial.. so over the weekend i still felt like really bad i coudnt breath it hurt so bad.. and finally monday came.. and i still felt the same as friday.. well i went down stairs and i fell asleep and my dad came home and he came down and woke me up and i wouldnt wake up and he was like amber!! amber! and he was gettin nervouse! so he was like are you unconsaous...? and i kinda just like sat there and i was like no.. and he was like whats wrong? and i was like i cant breath... and he was like k go get ready were takin you to the emergency room! and as soon as i heard that i freaked! and i was like no i dont want to go.. i dont want to! and he was like you have to i dont want you to die.. cuz i dont want you to sit here and get worse and slowly die.. no you need help amber! and i was like crying! cuz i didnt feel good and i didnt want to go to the hospital! so he went outside and hurried and shoveld the drive way and i was gettin ready then my mom wanted to wait tell the doctor called back but then i felt like i was going to pass out! so my dad was like lets just go she is going to past out she cant breath were going.. so we took my brothers to my grandmas and we went to the hospital.. we got there and they ask me all these questions and everything then they took me to a room and i went to get a chest x-ray and then i came back and the nurse came in and gave me a breathing treatment! then they looked at my x-ray and they said well you dont have alot of fluied in your lungs you still have pnemonia but i dont think we will need to have you stay over night.. so everything was fine.. but they gave me an inhailer and more antiboctics.. and so i went home and i was war out!! and everything! so i fell alseep and that was just a crazy night! everyone was freaking out they didnt want me to die.. and it was a mess! but i still have pnemonia just not as bad.. and iv missed two weeks of school! its crazy! i hate being sick! iv never been so sick in my life! so i had swine and pnemonia! i think im done being sick wow! some days i felt like i was giong to die.. and yeah. it is so crazy! but i think im finally gettin better i hope! but what a crazy two and half weeks!!

brother does not know how to spell!!

well my brother was doin his homework. and he had to do this thing where he had to write 20 experinces he has had. well like on the 15th one he was writing out riding sheep well when my mom walked over there to check it she just bursted out laughing.. and were all like whats so funny?? and she wouldnt stop laughing. she was laughing so hard she was crying and she was going blue.. haha and then she finally stoped and she said look at the paper. so i looked at it and it turns out my brother wrote riding shi! haha he is only in 1st grade and he was trying to sound it out and he kinda mixed it up and spelt a bad word.. but then i started laughing. that was so funny! so my mom had to erase it and tell him how to spell it the correct way. my brother got all embarssed.. cuz he didnt even know he spelt a bad word.. haha what a goof ball!! :) but he is learning but it was still way funny!!

my song!! :)

this song is my favorite song ever!! it what makes me think about stuff and i just thought i would share with you guys my favorite song! :) its called Lessons learned by carrie underwood!


theres somethings that i regret
some words i wish i had gone unsaid
some starts that had some better endings

been some bad times iv been through
damage that i cannot undo
somethings i wish i could do all all over again
but it dont really matter

but life gets that much harder
it makes you that much stronger
oh, some pages turned,
some bridges burned,
but there were,
lessons learned!

and every tear that had to fall from my eyes
every day i woundered how id get through the night,
every change, life has throwen me

im thankful for every break in my heart
im greatful for every scar
some pages turned
some bridges burned
but there were lessons learned

there's mistakes that i have made
some chances that i just have threw away
some roads
i never should've taken

been some signs i didnt see
hearts that i hurt needlessly
some wounds
that i wish i could have one more chance to mend

but it dont make no diffrence
the past cant be rewritten
you get the life your given

oh, some pages turned
some bridges burned
but there were leassons learned!

and every tear that had to fall from my eyes
every day i woundered how id get through the night
every change, life has thrown me

im thankful for every break in my heart
im greatful for every scar
some pages turned
some bridges burned
but there were leassons learned!

and all the things that break you
are all the things that make you strong
you cant change the past
cause its gone

and you just gotta move on
because its all
lessons learned

and every tear that had to fall from my eyes
everyday i woundered how id get through the night
every change, life has thrown me

im thankful for everybreak in my heart
im greatful for every scar
some pages turned
some bridges burned
but there were lessons learned

oh, some pages turned
some bridges burned
but there were lessons learned
lessons learned!


i love this song!! it is deffently my favorite!! :)

calvin! :)

calvin :) my buddy! i cant belive its been a whole year!! wow where did the days go... ??? i figured i would write this on wensday cuz i think i would be to sad to write this tomorrow... and i dont want to cry.. cuz i need to be strong and just think of all the happy memories i have had with you! but i have missed you so much! its crazy! there are times i think that would if i forget you? but then i say but i wont! cuz i wont let it happin!! but idk im just scared... and there has been times i need to talk to you so bad! cuz your the only person i think of who could make me laugh and turn my frowny face up to a smiley face! :) i loved that about you! but when i needed someone to talk to you wheren't there... and so i just cryed hopeing you where by me... cuz i just wanted to hear your voice and i just needed you to help me out.. cuz my friends wheren't really helping.. all they would say is "im sorry" and that doesnt really help any more... and i know you would make me laugh and tell me its going to be alright!!! but thats the thing i miss is calling you or texting you and asking for your help cuz you have good advice! and i love that about you!! :) but nothing will be the same now... i just wish i could have seen you one last time before you left! and got to tell you bye... :( but i love your smile calvin! thats one i always remember in the hall way when im walking i can just pic you pasting me with your smile!! haha when i still walk in the halls at school i keep thinking this person is you cuz he looks alot like you until he turns around and i see his face then he is totally diffrent looking. haha but i miss you! and i pray for his family and frineds that we'll all have the spirit with us on this day.. and that we can just smile and think of all the happy memories! cuz where going to need it! calvin i remember the time when i very first met you in person.. haha at the libarly for the kids parade. we hung out that whole day pretty much. i was so excited to met you and everything. and steven came along! that was so fun! except you and steven kept ditching us.. haha jk but we where takin pictures of you guys and you kept lookin away! but i loved hanging out with you guys.. it was so much fun!! and we kept going inside the libary and you guys where on the computers.. haha fun times! i miss those days!!! and the street dance! that was fun to! you and steven where doing the hokey pokey dance!! o my you made me laugh so hard! though's where the funnest days! wow im going to miss it! but your in a better place now! and calvin i love you so much! i miss everything about you! and ill be thinkin about you the hole day tomorrow and im going to come visit you to! but i miss you so so much and you'll never be forgotten by me... cant belive its been a year!! i miss you buddy!!! :(

All the memories and birthday comin up!

wow!! i just cant even belive its almost been a year sence calvin died... if feels like i just saw calvin yesterday with his big smile!! it really does... i just am still in shock he is gone.. there is no way i would have imagined him pasting away.. wouldnt have had a clue... i didnt think i would ever go through this stuff!! but apperntly i did.. and i just cant belive i have made it this far... but after a year.. and thinking about it.. and getting my head straighten out!! i think i finally relized why he died.. cuz god didnt take him from us just to make us misserble... it was cuz he needed him.. and as i think back... when he was alive i wasnt the greatest person.. i made mistakes.. but when he past away its like i became a whole new me!! like he has changed my life.. and has made me even stronger!! like it was the most hardest thing in my intire life seeing him past away.. but it just means if i have came this far then.. it means i can make it through harder stuff to.. i mean yes when he died i was depressed forever!! but one day.. i just felt him next to me!! and as soon as i knew he was by my side i started to get out and start doing stuff again.. and tryed not to be so hard on myself.. i mean i cant even explain how much he has changed me!!! but i really do miss him so very much!! its starten to get hard again.. just cuz the year is gettin closer!! its sad to think back oh i remeber he was at this thing with me.. and we where just having a blast and then to think but now he isnt here anymore to do that.. so then you get all sad again.. i mean all summer i was doin that.. i went to places i went with calvin last summer and it just brought back memories... good memories!!! but was wishing he was here! but this thursday is my birthday and i remember my friend kadee had a suprise birthday party for me and invited calvin to it.. but he couldnt come cuz he had football... so that night after my party calvin finally texted me cuz i havent texted him in like 2 days or so cuz we where just so busy.. and after my party he texted me and said that he was sorry that he didnt come and stuff.. and that he wish he would have.. but i just remember me going to school and i was walking in the hall and i pasted him and he didnt even tell me happy birthday.. lol and so then my friend ariana bumped into him and was like hey did you tell amber happy birthday? and he goes oh crap no i forgot! so he went through all the halls lookin for me just to tell me happy birthday and then he finally found me and came up to me and was like amber!! happy birthday!! and i was like aw thanks! lol and he goes i went through every hall lookin for you just to tell you that! and i was like o man calvin! you make me laugh! thanks! your so sweet! haha but he always made me laugh all the time!!!! i just miss him way to much!! and i love him so much!!!!

laughing week!

this week has been a laughing week for me!!! this whole week i just have been laughing! so sunday night i was talkin on the phone and then all a sudden i just bursted out laughing for no reason.. i laughed for like 15 min. straight!!! i couldnt stop! then the next day at school i just started laughing for no reason again... in class! i got in trouble... but it was funny! every one thought i was a freak!! haha then after school i went home and i started laughing again.. but this time my brother did something funny to make me laugh.. so i was laughing really hard. then tuesday i was talkin to this guy i like on the phone and he just started laughing for no reason and i was like whats so funny? and he was like nothing... and started laughing again so then i start laughing. then he told me to stop laughing and i just laugh like ten times harder! and i couldnt stop and he probably wanted to hang up on me.. but it was so funny! then wensday my friend kadee sent me a pic of her and o my gosh!!! that pic was so funny!! i probably laughed for like 30 min straight not even joking!! i couldnt stop laughing cuz i couldnt stop looking at it!!! but then later that night my dad made me laugh.. cuz he tripped on a truck and fell backwards down the stairs and it was just so funny cuz iv never seen my dad fall down the stairs like that... i probalby laughed for another 20 min. haha so you have no idea how bad my stomach mucels hurt right now.. just from laughing so hard this week!! but its been a good week with all my laughing!!!

europe!

my friend today was texting me and we where playing truth over texting. and he told me he asked me what i would do if he left to go to europe and i couldnt talk to him for a year? and i said i would go crazy and i would be so so sad if he left!! for a whole year and i couldnt talk to him.. and he replyed back saying... really? :( cuz i am leaving this friday to go to europe cuz its for school cuz im takin college classes and so i have to go. :( and i was at school when he told me this! and i just wanted to cry! and he told me he would email me and stuff! but its still not the same!! the day i get happy is the day i get sad again... cuz my best buddy is leavin tell next may or june!! thats along time to not text him and stuff!!! im so sad he is leavin me!! i guess it will be good for him though... and it will be way fun!! i think going to europe would be so much fun!! but the onely thing is that i wont be able to talk to him... its so sad!!!! hope he makes it there okay and stuff and hope he has a fun long trip!!!! gong to miss you so much buddy!!! :( :(