last time.... dancin... maby... :( :( :(

o my gosh!!! so today i got the worst news ever in my intire life well not entire life cuz i got worse but today... well... i went to dance. and my dance teacher her name is jill well.. she was talking to us and she said she had some really bad news... and so we sat down and listin and we got a letter saying that this is the last year of dancin cuz there closing down the studio.... :( for good!!! so after july 4, we will no longer have the studio.... and as soon as i heard that i like broke down inside.... cuz they told us we would probably have the studio for at least 2 or 3 more years and we where planning out all this stuff and dance's to do next year... and now... we cant any more.... and my whole life is on dancing!!!!! i love dancing so much!!!! and iv been dancin there sence i was 2 years old... and i love my dance teacher jill and my other one shaylee!!!!! and it just hurts to know that there closing it down... and im not going to see them any more.... im so so so very sad... and i just pretty much cried all day today.. cuz i love dancin so much... and my whole life i kept dreaming i was going to become a famous dancer and i thought my dream was going to come true but now... i dont think it will... cuz i dont know where to go any more... to go dance... and i dont really want to go to a new place and have to make new friends all over again... its so hard for me cuz people hate me and make fun of me... and i just want to stick to my old team cuz i had 3 best freinds there with me... and 1 of them has been dancin with me sence they where 2 to! and i just had the best 12 years of dancin!! ever!! i just dont want to quiet dancin just not yet!!! it bugs me if i havent danced for like 2 days and so i dance in my house!! im always dancin always... ill dance in my house... ill dance while im mowing the lawn... ill dance in the car when where on the rode... ill dance riding my scooter... ill dance in a parking lot... ill dance any where at any time... ill dance in parades... ill dance in staduim of fire.... ill dance all over the world... ill dance if you tell me to... ill dance in my front yard... ill dance everywhere.... i even dance in stores.... ha ha but im going to miss dancin so bad... im so crushed that this is happining.... im never going to stop dancin every where... ill tell you that right there.. never.. but the thing im going to miss is being with my friends and just dancin my heart out with them... and going to place to place every month and competeing against alot of people and dancin in front of alot of people... and winnging 1st place or 2nd or 3rd or 4th and then staying at awards and cheering and screaming at what place you got... and just being so so happy!!! and then after going swimming with all your friends.. and just partying after!!! im going to miss every bit of that.. and im going to miss when i was hyper in my dance class and i would just make my whole team laugh there heads off... im going to miss every little bit about that... im going to miss it.. cuz im not going to see any of my friends now... nobody.. and i just came so close to them. they feel like family to me!!! acatully i do call them my family cuz iv been there with them through all of it!! and we stick together all the time and we always cheer people up!!! and where all sisters!!! i love them all!!!! and now im going to miss every bit of them!!!! this is not fair at all... im going to miss every thing.... i cant belive there shutting down.... i dont want to stop dancing!!! its my life... and now i have no idea what im going to do now..... im so so very sad!!! this cant happin!!! im going to miss you all so very very much!!! my heart is dieing in pain every sec.... cant belive this.... :(

back to the old jobs!!

wow!! its spring!!! thats always exciting but its back to the old jobs on weekends getting up mowing lawns wow the joy in that.... ha ha i usalally hate mowing the lawns cuz i always have to do it... but this spring i started mowing lawns last week... and i actually liked it.. ha ha and i told my parents that this year probably wont be a problem to get my butt out there and do it... but idk cuz i just mowed my lawn yesterday. and i didnt want to.. but i did it.. and its pretty fun when you have like an ipod or mp3 player to listin to music why you mow the lawn.. ha ha but i like mowing lawns right now.. but later on after i do it more and more ill probably end up hating it!! and not wanting to do it any more.. cuz it gets boaring after a while.. and i hate mowing my back yard cuz its so umongo!!!! i swear!! but it onely takes me about 1 hour to mow my lawns... but im just glad that spring is here!!! whoo hoo!!!!! and school we onely have 2 more weeks that even more excting!! wow the year has gone by so fast!!!!!

crazy crazy week!!!

last wensday my dad was really sick and we thought he had the flu well... my dad said his stomach hurts really bad where his inpendix are so my mom kept tellin him o no its just the flu well it never got better so that night my mom decided to take him to the ER and they took him in and did some tests on him.. when there where done with the tests the results came out and they said it was his inpendix so they admited him that night and in the morning they would do surgery on him. so the morning came and my mom woke me up about 6:40 saying she is going to go over to the hospital now.. so i had to stay home all day and tend my brothers. they did sergury on him a little bit before 8 and my mom kept waiting and waiting. finally he came out of the sergury and they took him to the recovering room. and he stayed there tell he woke up. well when he woke up the doctor came in and told my mom that when they where doing his sergury his impendix burst. so he had a drain in him.. and they admitted him to the hospita tell friday. so me and my brothers came over thursday night and they said he still has alot of infection in him so he is going to have to stay tell saturday now. so friday came and we went in and they came to check on my dad and they said k he still has alot in him.. so if something doesnt change your going to loose your husband they kept telling us that.. so then they said he was going to stay tell sunday.. and i was so upset cuz i didnt want to lose my dad... not someone who i really love.. i already lost 2 of the people who i truley love and i wont lose another one cuz if i do im going to break down.. cuz i cant stand losing people i love. its to hurtful!! but i wont lose another one.. my dad will fight!! i kept tellin him that. i said dad you cant do this to us.... you have to live!! you cant leave us yet... just not yet.. you still have to see me get married and walk down the ile and you still have to see your grandchildren.. you still have to teach me how to drive.. you have so much to teach me so you cant leave yet.. dad.. i need you more then you think!!! and dad your strong!! i know you are!! come on you have to fight you do!! and my dad was like barely awake and he just kept saying amber ill try.... my best to fight.... and i just bursted into tears because he seemed like it right there my dad wasnt going to make it... cuz he kept closing his eyes and i layed on him saying dad please dont leave yet.. please i need you!! please!! fight!! its all im asking for is to stay with us just a little bit longer.. come on u can do it.... and he just sat there with his eyes closed and then he fell asleep for a little bit and i started really crying cuz he was so weak... and my mom took us home... and i didnt want to go.. but i had to. i had to be strong for my mom. so we went home. my mom went back then came home late that night and then the next day it was a miracle!!!! his infection has gone way way down!!! and i was so so happy i started crying!!! so they said he could go home saturday.. so they took his drainer out that day and sent him home to us... so he could be home with us again. i was excited!!! you have no idea!!! i love my dad so so so much!!! im so happy he is doing so much better!! and im so greatful for that blessing!!! it was a mericale!!!! now he is doin just fine i think!! but i hope nothing like that happins to me again... cuz that was so painful just going in there to watch my dad die every sec of the day.. to to horrible to do that.. i was in so much pain... but things are better now!! hope i dont have to go through that for a long time now...